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27 January 2008 @ 11:56 pm
Wonder Of My World (11/?)  
Title: Wonder Of My World (11/?)
Authors: ilovemybaby & fallonblackdays
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Steve Carlson, Christian Kane
Disclaimers: We don't own these people, they own themselves. None of this ever happened and, alas, the couple is not real. None of this was meant as an offence to anyone. We're just pretending, folks.
Notes: (1) Story and chapters titles and quotes all coming from various Steve Carlson's songs.
(2) Huge thanks to wake_up_older29 for the amazing beta job! *hugs*
Summary: Something's wrong with Jensen, and he makes a point not to tell Jared what is it. But when Jared finds out anyway, his reaction surprises even Jared himself.



Chapter 1 – Tell You A Tale | Chapter 2 – On The Road | Chapter 3 – Kinda Crazy These Days | Chapter 4 – I Could Never Say… | Chapter 5 – Losing My Mind | Chapter 6 - What You’re Running From | Chapter 7 – Moving Along | Chapter 8 - Between A Lover And A Friend | Chapter 9 - I Asked For Help From Above | Chapter 10 - Walk Away



banner made by the awesome titheniel





Wonder Of My World

“But now there’s dying roses on the bed, the sheets still smell like you, and all this rain has got me down.”

(“Under You” - Steve Carlson)

---

Steve waits impatiently for Chris to pick up. He barely gives him the chance to say hello before questioning him.

“Where are you?”

He’s not angry, or annoyed, or any of the sort. But Chris promised, and Chris never backed out of any promise, so Steve knows something important must have kept him.
“Jensen’s room,” Chris replies, his voice roughened by tears that aren’t his own. “I watched the shit hit the fan, man.”

Steve’s already perked concern spikes up instantly.
“What happened?”

“Jensen’s sick. Flu,” Chris begins to explain. “I called to check on him, and Jared picked up instead. I thought they were okay, you know? I mean, what would Jared be doing here if they weren’t? I stopped by to see how things were, and that’s when it happened,” his voice drops lower. “Sandy called.”

“Okay,” Steve says, as calmly as he can, knowing that he probably won’t feel so controlled in a few moments time. “And...?”

“Fuck, I don’t know what she said... The only thing I know is that once Jared hung up, he said he had to go see her. Jensen got pissed, they argued, and Jen basically told Jared to fuck off.”

Steve barely stifles a groan.
“Please, tell me that Jared has cleaned up the whole fucking mess with Jen before going to see Sandy.”

When it comes, Steve can’t quite say that the answer surprises him, but it still makes his stomach churn a little.
“No, he hasn’t.”

“Fuck. Okay, give me twenty minutes to finish cleaning up the backstage and then I’ll be right there.”

“Sure. Don’t rush though,” Chris tries to reassure. “He’s asleep now.”

“Well, that’s good. You got him to open up a little? Boy gets as tight-lipped as a pissed off grandma.”

Chris laughs quietly at that. Trust Steve to come up with such remarks at a time like this.
“If you count tears as a way to open up, then yeah,” he says, his voice going back to its grave tones.

Steve runs a hand over his face. He hasn’t even seen Jensen yet, and he’s already frustrated.
“All right. I’ll see you in a few.”

“Oh, and hey,” Chris says quickly, effectively stopping Steve from hanging up. “I’m sorry for not making it.”

Steve rolls his eyes, safe in the knowledge that Chris can’t see him. Leave it to Chris to apologize for something like that.
“It’s cool. You know my bitching is only an act.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll see you.”

Steve listens to the dial tone for a few moments before he finally manages to snap out of it and hangs up with a sigh. ‘Fucked up’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.

+++

He finally makes it to the hotel an hour later, holding up a six pack for a weary-looking Chris to see when he comes to open the door.
“Thought I’d bring you some relief.”

Chris breaks into a wide smile as he steps aside to let him in.
“Much appreciated.”

“How is he?” Steve asks, throwing a look at the lump on the bed that he knows for sure to be Jensen’s sleeping form.

“He still has a light fever,” Chris replies with a sigh. “But he has yet to wake up, I guess it’s good that he can nap like this.”
He takes the six pack from Steve and places it on the coffee table. He immediately proceeds to take out two bottles, opening them and handing one to Steve, who takes a long swig and flops down on the couch. His clear blue eyes bore into Chris a moment later.

“How are you?”

Chris gives a shrug.
“I’m not the one that matters right now,” he mutters gloomily.

Steve holds back a grin. Chris is a master of pushing, but try and push him, and he just curls up on himself like an armadillo.

“Yeah, well, ‘the one that matters’ is asleep at the moment, so I figure I better start with you,” he says, eyes twinkling.

“I’m just tired,” Chris dismisses, going to sit next to Steve and taking a swig of his own beer. “And pissed,” he concedes after a moment. “And worried.”

Steve allows that grin to come and stretch his lips.
“That’s better,” he says, patting Chris’ thigh. “He’s gonna be all right,” he reassures after a moment. “Jen’s tough.”

“Yeah, I know,” Chris says softly, looking over at their sleeping friend. “But it hurts to see him suffer like this.” He rakes a hand through his long hair and exhales slowly. “He doesn’t deserve it, Steve. Not him. Not Jen.”

Steve tries not to let his own worry show, because someone has to keep a level head in this, and he knows it can’t be Chris. Not right now.
“I know,” he says quietly.
He wants to say something else, anything, but for the first time he doesn’t have any advice to give, no words that could make it better. Because fact is, it hurts him, too.

“You know what Jared said when Jensen asked him to tell him where they stand?” Chris whispers, so quiet that Steve almost misses it. “When Jen almost pleaded with him to get things straight here first? He said, ‘I don’t know’. Anything Jensen would ask, the answer was always the same. ‘I don’t know,” he spits the words out like they’re poison. He’s gripping the neck of the bottle so tight that his knuckles have gone white.

Still Steve remains silent, because really, what do you say to that?
He gets up and just stands there, unmoving, lips pressed tightly together, waiting for the sudden wave of anger to pass.

“Steve-” Chris takes a deep breath. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Steve is getting more furious by the minute, and the last thing Chris wants is having to deal with a pissed off Steve on top of everything else. “It’ll be all right. I just now it.” He doesn’t quite believe his own words, but it feels good to throw them out there anyway.

The hollow note lingering under the surface of Chris’ voice stands out like a broken guitar string, and it’s enough for Steve to snap out of his angry stupor and remember exactly why he needs to keep it together for the time being.

“I know it, too,” he says with a small knowing smile. “You, on the other hand, are not that convinced.”

Chris knows exactly where Steve is trying to go, and he’s not in the mood to let him.
“Whatever, man,” he snorts. “Stop looking at me like that, I’m fine.”

“Chris-” Steve begins, but there’s a sudden movement and a muffled groan coming from the bed, and he walks quickly up to Jensen, grinning widely as still unfocused green eyes blink groggily up at him. “Hey there.”

“Steve?”
Jensen’s voice is so scratchy that Steve’s throat hurts for him.

“No, Santa Claus. How you feeling?” he asks, sitting carefully on the edge of the back.

Jensen frowns.
“Where’s Jared?”

Steve’s own brow furrows in response, and he reaches out to lay the back of his hand over Jensen’s forehead.
“Oh shit,” he curses quietly under his breath. “Chris, give me a thermometer, will you?”

Chris quickly complies, hovering anxiously over Steve’s shoulder once he comes back from his brief trip to the bathroom.
“Is he burning again?”

Steve grunts in response, taking the thermometer from him without looking away from Jensen.
“Some. Mostly I think he’s just confused though. Right, Jen? You’re just sleepy, aren’t you?”

“Quit treatin’ me like ‘m a fuckin’ kid,” Jensen mumbles irritably, burying his face into the pillow so that his friends won’t catch the glimpse of pain that flickers over his features as his memory rushes back and he remembers exactly where Jared is.

“Keep still,” Steve orders, pulling the thermometer away once it has beeped in Jensen’s ear. He shows the reading to Chris, both of them frowning at the 102.8 flashing over the display. “Man, you got it good.”

“Will you two just leave me alone?” Jensen moans. He unglues his face from the pillow to stare up at the both of them. “Go get some sleep. Or get drunk, whatever you prefer. And Chris, you look beat.”

“Do you hear me complaining?” Chris replies readily. “Stop trying to push us away, Jen. You know it won’t work.”

“I know,” Jensen says in a whisper, his tone changing completely. He does know. It has never worked with neither Chris or Steve, but he still tries from time to time, when he’s hurt and wants nothing but being left alone to wallow in his own misery.

Steve sighs and gets up.
“I’m going down to the pharmacy across the street, see if they got something a little more effective than Tylenol.”
He shakes his head in exasperation, grumbling all the way to the door to let his friends know that it’s okay.

“You know, he’s right,” Chris says, turning back to Jensen once Steve has exited the room. “You’re annoying.”

Jensen blinks up at him.
“What did I do?”

“You keep trying to push us away every time something’s really wrong.”

“That’s not true!” Jensen protests. “Besides, look who’s talking.”

“Excuse me?” Chris looks indignantly at him. “I always let you two meddle.”

Jensen snorts. “Spare me.”

“Only because you’re sick,” Chris winks at him.

Jensen’s grinning before he knows it, and his eyes soften.
“Hey Chris,” he calls quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. You know, for... everything.”

“No need to thank me, man,” Chris dismisses with an easy smile. “I’d do it all over again, no questions asked.”

“I know.” Jensen gives him the first sincere smile in what feels like an eternity and pushes himself up in a sitting position. “What time is it?”

“Half past one,” Chris replies, looking down at his watch. “Why?”

Jensen shakes his head.
“Chris... go get some sleep.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Chris says firmly, walking closer to the bed and laying down next to him. “Although a bed sounds heavenly right now.”

Jensen chuckles and scoots over to give Chris some space, and soon he finds himself yawning once again.
“You can sleep here... if... if you want...” He doesn’t get to finish the sentence before he falls asleep.

Chris laughs.
“Well, thank you.”
He looks over at Jensen for a few moments before settling better on the mattress.

And that’s how Steve finds them later on when he walks back in, Jensen curled up on his right side and Chris laying on his back with one arm over his own chest and the other having somehow managed to wrap protectively around Jensen’s shoulders, both snoring softly.

“Well, hell,” he mutters, closing the door quietly behind him and putting the medicine bag on the table.

He walks to the couch and flops down onto it after having turned out the lights (and stumbled onto the coffee table for his trouble). He’s joining his friends in dreamland before he knows it, with no idea whatsoever of the killer neck ache that’s in store for him.

+++

Chris opens his eyes again hours later, looking around in slight confusion as it takes him a few moments to remember where he is.
He finds Jensen curled up on his side, lips parted, blissfully asleep. A sound is breaking the quiet insistently, some sort of buzzing that Chris eventually recognizes as Steve’s snoring as he looks over at the couch to see his friend sprawled over it, his neck bent at a weird and mighty uncomfortable-looking angle.

‘Oh crap,’ he cringes inwardly. ‘He’s gonna feel like shit when he wakes up.’

He’s about to get up to try and slide a pillow under Steve’s head without waking him when Jensen curls a little tighter on himself.

“Jay...” he mumbles, eyes darting behind closed eyelids as whatever dream he’s having grips his sleeping mind.

Chris sighs, his heart cracking a little. He debates with himself on whether he should wake Jensen up or let him sleep and see if the nightmare eases up, but he doesn’t get the chance to decide as Jensen goes quiet for a moment and then opens his eyes wide, dulled green irises looking around frantically.

“Hey, it’s all right,” Chris reassures quickly, rubbing Jensen’s arm soothingly. “It’s okay, it was a dream.” He waits for Jensen’s gaze to focus on him before speaking again. “You okay?”

Jensen breathes somewhat erratically for a short while before he finally manages to come back to full awareness. He nods shakily.
“Yeah, ‘m okay.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Chris asks gently, now fully awake himself.

Jensen shakes his head without a word, and Chris decides not to push this time. Jensen’s sick, and tired, and heartbroken, and Chris doesn’t think that talking about Jared right now could really help matters.

He’s still musing when Steve lets out another snore, and he grins fondly, gazing towards their sleeping friend.

“At least someone’s enjoying his sleep, uh?”

Jensen smiles a little himself.
“He deserves it. What time is it?”

“I have no idea, man.” Chris takes a look at his watch, squinting to try and see the numbers in the dim light. “Six am.”

Jensen groans.
“Go back to sleep,” he says, his own eyes staying wide open.

“I’m wide awake,” Chris argues, stretching languidly. “There’s no way in hell I’m going back to sleep now. But you should: you’re sick.”

“I’m all right,” Jensen says without looking at him, and he’s said it so many times that he almost stopped believing it himself.

Chris rolls his eyes at him.
“Sure you are. And I’m an angel from Heaven, sent to kick your lying ass.”

Jensen gives another small smile.

“Chris?” he calls a few moments later, so softly that Chris almost misses it. “Why can’t he talk to me?”

Chris takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.
“To quote Jared himself, ‘I don’t know’.” He sits up next to Jensen, looking down at him with a sort of apologetic look in his eyes. “I have no idea what’s going through his mind. I can understand about him being confused, but... he just got no right to do what he did to you.” There’s anger creeping into his voice, but he doesn’t try to hold it back. “I just hope he makes the right choice.”

“I don’t really care.” Jensen can tell something’s off in his own voice even as he utters the words. It sounds tired, hollow, defeated. Has he given up on Jared already?

“Yeah, you do,” Chris says knowingly. “You love him, don’t lie to me.”

“I do,” Jensen admits quietly. “I just... whatever choice he makes... I just want him to make it fast. Why can he talk to Sandy but not to me?”

“Honestly?” Chris says, making eye contact with him. “I think that’s Jared’s very disturbed way of trying not to hurt you. Maybe he wants to talk with Sandy first, so that he can talk to you when he’s already made a choice. You know... so there can be no turning back. I don’t know him as well as you do, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who says ‘I love you’ without really meaning it.” The room gets quiet again, Steve’s snoring the only sound that can be heard for a while, until Chris speaks again. “Right?”

Jensen wants to say ‘Right’, nod fervently, and mean it all. But he can’t.
“I don’t know,” he whispers. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Chris swallows. Hard.
“Jen-”

Jensen’s cell phone picks that moment to buzz loudly on the nightstand. Jensen gropes for it with a tired arm, switching it off as soon as he catches sight of the caller I.D. flashing on the display. He can’t. He’s not ready. Not yet.

The buzzing freezes midway, breaking like Jensen’s voice would have if he was to answer.

Chris frowns.
“Who was it?”

His own phone starts ringing before Jensen can answer, and he picks it up hastily before the ringtone can wake Steve up. One look at the caller I.D., and he has all the answers he needs.

“Why the fuck are you calling me?” he growls into the mouthpiece once he’s flipped the phone open.

“Is he okay?” Jared’s anxious voice questions from the other end of the line.

“The fuck would you care?” Chris spits. He knows he shouldn’t talk like this, he knows that he should play it cool for Jensen’s sake, not to mention that Jared’s not really the bastard Chris wishes he’d be, so then he could punch him and smash his nose in without feeling too guilty. But he can’t help it. Jensen’s defeated ‘I don’t know’ is still ringing in his ears, making his blood boil.

“Man, please. Just tell me,” Jared says.

Chris clenches his jaw tight and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Fever’s down,” he replies curtly, not managing to soften the tone despite his best efforts.

“Good,” Jared says quietly. “That’s good.” A pause. “But is he okay?” he asks again, emphasizing the word.

He doesn’t need to, because Chris knows exactly what Jared’s asking, but he’s not going to give him the answer: he doesn’t think Jared deserves to know.

“Cough’s better, too.”

Jensen seems to have caught up on what’s going on, too, because suddenly he’s rolling his eyes at him and taking the phone away from his hand before Chris can even register what’s happening.

“Jay?” Jensen calls, ignoring Chris’ piercing glare.


“Jen?! You alright? I called you but you didn’t answer and I was worried you had gotten worse or something-” Jared rambles on apprehensively without taking any breaths in-between the words, and Jensen’s sad smile can’t help but holding a hint of fondness, too.

“I know. I’m sorry... I just...”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jared cuts him off quickly, his voice quiet. “It’s all right. I just... wanted to know if you’re okay.”

“How can you ask that?” There’s no heat in Jensen’s voice as the words leave his lips in a rush, only weariness. He takes a deep, calming breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have... I’m just tired.”

“No, it’s... it’s okay. I deserved it. I should just hung up, yeah?” Jared’s voice cracks ominously, and Jensen’s heart can’t help but jumping a little. Because as much as he hates for Jared to hurt in any way, that broken note in his words means that he still cares. Right?

“No,” he says urgently. “No.”

“You said it yourself, you’re tired,” Jared argues gently. “You should get some rest.”

“I just need you to know something.”

“What?”

Jensen pauses for a few moments, searching for the right words in his head.
“I love you,” he begins carefully. “And whatever your decision’s gonna be, that’s not gonna change anytime soon. But I want you to know, that I’ll be here for you. As a friend, or as a lover, whichever you will want me to be. I’ll be here. I’m not leaving you.”

The silence at the other end of the line goes on for so long that for a moment Jensen fears Jared’s hung up on him, and he immediately feels like shit for even thinking that when Jared’s voice comes next, quiet and hoarse and preceded by a noise that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle.

“I’m not sure I deserve that, Jen.”

Jensen’s answer comes strong and confident, with no hesitation whatsoever.
“I am.”

“I’m sorry, Jen. For everything.”

“Don’t,” Jensen says firmly. “Don’t, Jay. Listen to me. I’m not sorry, okay?” He’s not. He won’t ever be sorry that he’s felt Jared’s kiss, even for just one day.

“Me neither,” Jared replies softly, and Jensen smiles, because he knows that they’re talking about the same thing. “I really should go now. I’m sure Chris is glaring dangerously, isn’t he?”

Jensen dares a quick look at Chris, laughing a little when he finds that, unsurprisingly, Jared’s right.
“Yeah, he is.” He licks his lips, shifting a little on the mattress. “I... I’ll see you, all right?”

“All right, Jen. Take care.”

Jensen listens to the dial tone for a moment before closing Chris’ phone and handing it back to him.

“You were nice to him,” Chris says, arching an incredulous eyebrow as he puts the phone back on the nightstand.

“So what?”

“So, you were nice to him,” Chris repeats pointedly. “Care to explain what possessed you?”

“He’s hurting, Chris,” Jensen replies with a sigh, settling back down on the pillows.

“So are you.”

“It’s different.”

“How?”

Jensen shrugs a little.
“I’m not stuck between my best friend and my long time girlfriend. We both know that the last thing Jared would ever want to do is hurting the people he loves. How do you think this whole mess is making him feel?”

Chris stares at him.
“I still don’t like it.”

Jensen shakes his head, smiling fondly at him.
“I still want him to make a choice,” he clarifies. “I still need him to hurry. But he’s hurting worse than I am.”
It’s not true, and he knows it. They’re probably both equally miserable. In fact, someone once told him that pain is not up for comparison. But Jensen has always thought Jared’s lips were made for smiling, and if he has to put his own pain aside to make that happen, well then, so be it, no matter how pathetic that sounds.

Chris is quite aware of what a fat lie that is, too, but once again he decides not to press the matter.
“You’re too good to be true, Jen,” he says instead, reaching out to ruffle Jensen’s hair playfully.
Steve’s following snore seems to almost echo his words, and Chris grins suddenly.
“We could have some fun,” he says, bright blue eyes glinting ominously.

Jensen smirks right back.
“What do you have in mind?”

“Do you still have Mackenzie’s songs in your ipod?”

Jensen rolls his eyes at him, guessing Chris’ intentions right away.
“That’s pure cruelty.”

“Do you still have them?” Chris insists excitedly, and Jensen can’t help but chuckle a little.

“In my bag.”

Chris gets up and rummages through Jensen’s large duffel bag for a while before finally finding what he’s looking for. He takes out the ipod, selects one of the questionable songs Jensen’s sister has uploaded a few months ago, and tip-toes over to the couch.

Steve doesn’t stir as Chris carefully places the headphones in his ears and presses the play button. Then he hastily goes back to the bed, settling comfortably over the mattress.
Jensen chuckles a little and punches his arm playfully, and Chris grins, secretly pleased with himself: Jensen’s smiling. Mission accomplished.

It’s not long before Steve stirs, rolls over, furrows his brow, grumbles something unintelligible and finally opens his eyes wide, such an outraged expression on his face that Jensen has to almost bite his lip bloody to keep the laughter inside.

Steve scrambles up into a sitting position and tears the headphones out of his ears as if they burn, staring incredulously down at the ipod and then up towards Chris and Jensen.

“Christian!” he hisses, getting up and going to tower over the bed like some sort of avenging angel. “Care to explain this?!” he spits, holding the ipod out for Chris to read the display.

Chris is laughing so hard that he can’t even form a proper sentence. Steve can maybe sit through a few Justin Timberlake pieces without attempting suicide, but you can’t ask him to listen to even a note of Backstreet Boys.

“Good morning to you, too,” Chris finally manages a few moments later, a hand over his stomach to try and contain his laughter.

“What is this?” Steve demands again.

“That’s probably an ipod,” Chris says solemnly.

“The thing playing on the ipod,” Steve growls. “What possessed you to wake me up to overemotional pop music at six fucking o’clock in the morning?!”

“Well...” Chris begins, making a great show of choosing his words. “You were sleeping so deep... I thought you’d be in need of some energy for your day.”

“You call- What’s the fucking song’s name again?” Steve grumbles, squinting down at the ipod’s display. “You call ‘As Long As You Love Me’ energetic?”

Chris shrugs. “For a love songs fan, yeah.”

“Why can’t you just be sleeping like anyone else in this town?” Steve grumbles. “Why do you have to be up at the crack of dawn? Why do you have to get me up at the crack of dawn?”

“It was good tho,” Jensen pipes up with a grin. “And you should be proud of him: he moved gracefully for once.”

“It wasn’t him being graceful, it was me sleeping soundly,” Steve glares.

“It was me being skilled,” Chris argued. “I’m just good.”

“Well then, since you’re so good,” Steve says, flopping down on the armchair next to the bed, “you will be as good as to go and get us some breakfast.”

Chris blinks at him.
“Will I?”

“Yes you will. Since you woke me up and Jensen here’s sick.”

Chris sighs and gets back up to his feet, snatching up his wallet from the nigthstand.
“All right, all right. But I’m not doing it for you,” he clarifies as he walks towards the door. “I’m doing it for sick boy.”

Jensen gives him a grin and a wink as Chris exits the room.

“You alright?” Steve asks once they’re alone, eyes softening as he turns to look at Jensen, who gives him a smile in return.

“Yeah.”

“Chris didn’t bother you too much while I was sleeping, did he?”

Jensen chuckles. “Nah, he’s been a good boy.” He hesitates then, and contemplates the thought of not informing Steve of anything, but after everything he’s been putting his friends through, he reckons the man deserves to know. “Jared called,” he eventually says, so quiet that he almost misses it himself.

But Steve doesn’t, and his eyebrows shoot up so high that they seem to almost get swallowed by his hairline.
“Really?”

Jensen gives a tiny shrug.
“He wanted to know how I was doing. I told him no matter what decision he’s gonna make, I’m still gonna be here for him.”

Steve smiles at him, a little sadly.
“I’m sure you will.”

Jensen sighs and shifts a little against the pillow.
“I miss him, Steve,” he says in a whisper. “I just want him back. Whether as my best friend or my boyfriend, it doesn’t matter. I just want him back.”

“You’ll get him back,” Steve reassures quietly. “I know you will.”

“Thanks man,” Jensen smiles. “How was your show?”

“I kicked ass, as usual,” Steve grins smugly at him. “It was okay. Missed you guys there, though.”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen says with an apologetic smile. “I would’ve liked to be there, too. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve dismisses, getting up from the armchair to go sit on the edge of the bed, patting Jensen’s thigh. “You’re sick, and Chris was being his usual mother hen self. There’s nothing to make up for, you were both where you were supposed to be.”

Jensen smiles broadly at him, yawning hugely a moment later.
“Aw hell,” he curses quietly.

Steve chuckles.
“I know, I’m awfully boring. You’re allowed to take a nap.”

“Another one?!” Jensen cries in frustration.
He’s asleep before he can complain any further.


TBC...

 
 
feeling: blahblah
singing along to : Sigur Ros - Salka
 
 
 
Shellztrueshellz on January 27th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
that was hilarious with the songs to steve
i loved it
lol
update again soon hun
x
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 06:44 pm (UTC)
Poor Steve, so not envying him... *pets him*
We're being as quick as we can with the next part. :) I'm so happy you liked this chapter! :D
ysbailysbail on January 27th, 2008 11:28 pm (UTC)
As much as Jensen claims that he could accept just being Jared's friend I'm pretty sure that both Steve and Chris know that having that kind of restriction on his relationship with Jared would kill him. Jared had better make that decision quickly.
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that Jensen knows, too. *pets him*
Thanks so much for reading! :)
fanofsuperfanofsuper on January 27th, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
This was a great update. Jensen is more patient & understanding than most people would be in his position. I hope Jared knows how lucky he is to have him & makes his decision very soon for both their sakes.

As for Steve & Chris, they are both awsome friends. Jensen was lucky that they were there for him to lean on. No matter what he said, he knew they would be there for him. I'm sure Steve has already forgiven both of them for that Ipod trick

Someone is sure to point it out but when you say "Sandy smiles at him, a little sadly." that should be "Steve smiles at him, a little sadly.

Soniafallonblackdays on January 27th, 2008 11:45 pm (UTC)
OMG! *facepalm* *runs to fix it* How the hell did that escape me? LOL Sorry about that. :P Thanks so much for pointing that out!
And thank you for your feedback. I'm so glad you liked this chapter. :D And yes, Steve couldn't really hold a grudge to those two to save his life. ;)
(no subject) - fanofsuper on January 28th, 2008 01:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
angels3angels3 on January 27th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
Okay I'm with Chris why the hell does Jared care. He left him there. I wonder if he'd been by himself and Chris hadn't been there would he have still left cause I think he would have and that just pisses me off to no end.

Sorry to all the Jared lovers but right now he so does not deserve Jensen.

Can't wait for more.
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
Jared's in a really tight spot right now... But yeah, I was annoyed myself as we wrote that part. LOL
I hope you'll like the next part when we'll put it up (which hopefully will be sometime next week, if not sooner ;) ). Thanks so much for reading and dropping us a line! :D
Aj;;dare_to_dream06 on January 28th, 2008 12:19 am (UTC)
do u enjoy stabbing me in the heart?
i think you must take some satifaction out of it because i've got many, many holes in it to prove it. lol
now i do love me some angst once in a while, but darling? could you possible maybe, consider... fixing the boys?
they've been hurting for way too long, you think?
*sad smile*

god, what a great chapter though.
it was just.. poor everyone. *hugs them all*
and when are you gonna make chris and steve fuck?
cause i can totally see them wanting each other. *smirks*

more please *hold out plate*
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC)
do u enjoy stabbing me in the heart?

Oh no... I don't! *hugs tight and rubs at your heart to make it better*

But I'm so happy to know that you still enjoy every chapter even with all the angst coming with them. :) Next part should be up soon. Thank you so very very much!
sunset_dark on January 28th, 2008 12:40 am (UTC)
Okay, so I want to shake some sense into Jared now. Thank god for Chris and Steve being there for Jensen. Thanks for the update xx
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 06:50 pm (UTC)
Steve and Chris are just precious. LOL Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed the update! :)
Wendy2sexyboys on January 28th, 2008 12:57 am (UTC)
Sure it is hard for Jared, but you can't have both. He has to make up his mind and quickly. It isn't fair for him to jerk those he says he loves while he tries to make up his mind. As much as I hate saying it, if Jared can't decide, maybe Jen should. Take the decision from Jared. The fact Jared left a sick Jen to rush to Sandy says a lot. Where was Jared ringing from....his car? Out of ear shot of Sandy? Why should it be Jared's decision to make?
Damn it Jensen, if Jared can't decide, don't stand there waiting...damn it Ok, so Jared's decision to go to Sandy when she called pissed me off--just a little LOL .
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
Just a tiny bit, uh? LOL I know what you mean, I was annoyed myself as we wrote that. :P But I'm glad you're sticking with the story even if it pissed you off. ;) Thank you. :)
enable l♥ve: SPN--Dean Cryingenablelove on January 28th, 2008 01:00 am (UTC)
I love the 3 guys' relationships with each other. So cute :D

And my heart is breaking for Jensen and Jared. You could probably hear hearts breaking everywhere huh? lol

Can't wait for the next part!!
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I enjoy writing about their friendship quite a lot. :D

You could probably hear hearts breaking everywhere huh? lol

Yeah, we could. *feels guilty*

Thanks so much for reading! :D
readerforlife: SPN - Sexing Winchestersreaderforlife on January 28th, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
Awe, they're hurting! This needs to be remedied. Jared needs to decide now!

First Snapshots was updated, and now this. Now only if Lean on Me was updated today too.... **jumps up and down excitedly** That would make this day complete!
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
Awww. We know, we're awfully behind with updates to Lean On Me. :( We hope to be able to update that one soon, as well. So sorry about that. :(

But I'm glad you've enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much! :)


johnnyjoshjohnnyjosh on January 28th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
Well, I just found this story tonight, and I read every chapter in one shot XD I am loving this! The little prank on Steve was hilarious *laughs*. I do hope Jared comes to a decision soon, but I liked the way you've written in Jensen's friends supporting him the way they have, provides just the right amount of comedy and warmth to balance out the angst in all this.
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
Poor Steve. LOL *pets him*
Thank you so much for reading our story, I'm really happy to know that you're enjoying it so much! :)
Stjra: Dean tears Pain wordstjra on January 28th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
Aww, poor boys!

As much as Jared is a bastard for the way he has handled this, I do feel sorry for him for having to choose who's heart he will break.

Then Jensen doing the noble thing even though he's hurting so bad, telling him he'll always be there. Dammit, that boy has to get some self esteem!

Loved the update!
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:38 pm (UTC)
They're both in a tight spot. *pets the boys* Thanks so much for reading! I'm happy you liked this chapter. :)
Lycalycaness on January 28th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
Ahh, true friends. I love their friendships, the way they're completely there for each other, 100%.
Such a cruel trick to play on Steve, and yet so funny, it was good for Jen to have a moment to laugh. :)
I wonder what Jay said to Sandy *worries*
Looking forward to the next chapter, I get the feeling the angst is going to return. :)
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I really like writing their friendship, so I'm truly happy that you like to read it. ;)
The next chapter will be here asap, I hope you will enjoy it. Thanks so much for reading!
chrissy6299chrissy6299 on January 28th, 2008 05:07 am (UTC)
I just read all the chapters...

I love it, the story is awesome!

More soon please.
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!! I'm happy that you're enjoying it. :) More will be here ASAP! ;)
batina35batina35 on January 28th, 2008 07:32 am (UTC)
loved this update. i may have gotten overly emotional at a certain point during said update. might have had something to do with jensen being the nicest guy to ever have lived making things a little easier for jared. can't wait to see what happens next. love sickJensen by the way and love all the steve and chris antics too.
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
Awww! :D Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked this chapter. And I'm glad you like Steve and Chris, I have a soft spot for those two. &heats; More will come soon!
kuhekabirkuhekabir on January 28th, 2008 08:19 am (UTC)
You are way nicer than me :)

I loved how Jensen 'forgave' Jared and that he would always be there for him, honestly I can totally relate because love can do that to you...however my vindictive side wants Jared to have to growl and fight and beg for Jensen to take him beg...either way, I just love your story here...thank you so much. Please post more soon :)
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and dropping a feedback. It's very very appreciated. :) I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! And yes, Jensen was really nice to do that... I would've never done it. LOL
More will be here asap. :)
Evenstar: Sophia- darkevenstar_1203 on January 28th, 2008 08:20 am (UTC)
Awww, lovely update :) Jensen is definitely the sweetest person ever ♥ ♥
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
Yes he is! I so would never have done that in RL! LOL I'm happy that you liked this chapter, thank you so much! :D

p.s.: I keep meaning to ask you but always end up forgetting... Would you mind if I friended you?
(no subject) - evenstar_1203 on February 1st, 2008 07:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
just another fruit loop in this bowl called life: Carlson/Kane/Ackles ;)keyweegirlie on January 28th, 2008 08:45 am (UTC)
I love Chris and Steve taking care of Jensen...but oh man I really want Jared to hurry up and pick Jen already. *lol*

Fabulous job yet again girls.
*hugs*
-C-
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much, Cass! *hugs* So glad you like this! :D
(Deleted comment)
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
LOL I am so happy you like our Chris, baby! And yes, that iPod thing was just... I mean... *shudders* *pets Steve*
I'm insanely glad that you're liking this! Thanks so much! *hugs tight* And I still owe you comments on your deaf!Jensen AU... *sighs* I'm so so slow when it comes to reading... But I'll get there, I promise you! *snuggles*
witchy78witchy78 on January 28th, 2008 01:38 pm (UTC)
Are you planning on killing me ????????? Come on : sick!Jensen and chris and steve taking care of him is gonna be the death of me ! The whole time I was reading this chapter the butterflies in my stomach couldn't stop flying around !! I loooooooooooooooove this chapter. That's what I call FRIENDSHIP.
Thank you so much for this. You can write another chapter like this one anytime you want ;o)
Sonia: Supernatural_J2 no better placefallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC)
AWWW! Thank you so much!! Like I said in other comments, their friendship is one of my favorite things to write, and it makes me so happy that you enjoy reading it. :) So thank you, really. :D

spooky2_alexspooky2_alex on January 28th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
Die. You two wanna kill me???? I can't stand poor-angst Jensen. I can't. Sick, without Jay and thinking that, he Jared choose little Sandy. OMG! That's terrible!! But, I can't wait to read more and more. I'm addicted ,-))

Congratulations, girls. That's amazing
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I am sooo happy you're liking this. :) And we certainly don't wanna kill you! Mind you stay around to read the end of the fic! LOL Thank you so much for your feedback. :D
no matter what: demons I getsanann on January 28th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
Jensen is too good to be true. Totally.
But people in love act this way so I understand him.
It'so confusing. C'mon, Jared. We are waiting!
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Love really makes you do stupid things, doesn't it? I mean, I would've never done that in RL. LOL Thanks so much for reading, really. :)
angieobsessedangieobsessed on January 28th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)
I'm starting to hate Jared for hurting Jensen so much because it's not healthy anymore. Jensen is hurting so much and he can say what he wants he will never get over it when Jared stays with Sandy. I know that Jared is hurting too but it's his own fault.
yay for Steve and Chris. they are awesome friends. and the scene with the ipod was hilarious. great chapter hon.
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
Poor Steve... so not envying him. LOL
I'm so glad you've enjoyed the chapter even though you're getting pissed at Jared. ;) Thank you so much!
(no subject) - angieobsessed on January 31st, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Deb: Jen grindebarouchi on January 28th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
Chris knowing what Jared was asking but not answering properly cracked me up. Cop that Jared - he does all this then thinks he has the right to be concerned over Jensen's welfare. Seriously??? I wanna smack some sense into him, feels like he knows where his heart lies but can't get out from under Sandy's shadow completely yet.

Anyway I'll stop rambling about your fic now and just say I loved this update and can't wait for more. I wanna see what happened at Jared's meeting with Sandy
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
Chris is an overprotective bastard. LOL
I'm so happy you liked the update! Thank you so much! :D
Vickieilan on January 29th, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)
god, I fuckin' love what you do w/ these characters.. it's amazing!
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
*blushes furiously* Thank you so much, Vicki. Seriously. I'm so glad you're liking this. *hugs*
Skywalker-Winchester: OT4 keyweegirlieanakin415 on January 29th, 2008 01:52 am (UTC)
giggles !!!

oh Jared !
Soniafallonblackdays on January 31st, 2008 08:06 pm (UTC)
LOL
Thanks so much for reading! :D